I feel like there should be a disclaimer for this post: “If you’ve never been clothes shopping with pre-teenage girls then you might not fully appreciate this.” I’ve helped tons of mothers find special dresses for their daughters and I’ve found that there are 3 things to always remember:

• give yourself plenty of time,
• be willing to compromise
• stand your ground (no this doesn’t contradict the item above)

Finding a lovely dress for yourself can be difficult, so you know that when you add in the opinion of a tween girl, you’ve increased the difficulty of the task exponentially. The worst thing that you can do is rush the process. Being tired reduces our ability to be patient and diplomatic. As a mother you’ll need to give feedback that isn’t viewed as criticism. When you’re tired, you may rebel at the thought of going to another store to look at more dresses. It helps to remember that your daughter is acquiring valuable experience in evaluating options. If you want to reduce the time spent in the store, then talk about the event months in advance and have your daughter express what she thinks the perfect dress looks like. You and your daughter can look through magazines and go on-line to see a variety of dresses.

As you discuss what she likes, be willing to compromise on the small stuff. I had my heart set on a pearl embellished first communion dress for my daughter but she was thinking “sparkly” and didn’t want “boring old lady pearls”. If you let her select the non-essential elements you’ll be able to stand your ground on the styling and ensure that it’s age appropriate. Our girls are in a rush to grow up. Dressing in older styles, is a way for them to feel grown up. But this is where I encourage mothers of the world to unite and stand your ground. An 8 year old should not look like a small adult. Most of us wouldn’t let our 8 year old watch an “R” rated movie so why would we let her wear a style that is too old for her? Let her choose the color and you can nix the bare midriff or the short skirt.

In the end, keep your sense of humor. After all, twenty years from now, she’ll probably bring up something about the time when you and she went shopping and you …

Contributed by:
Chief Princess Mom, A Little Indulgence