My tween daughter has discovered her “visage.”  While we are on spring break, I have noticed there isn’t a mirror my daughter doesn’t like. Her interest is not in a vain way, but in a curious way. I watch as unobtrusively as possible as she makes faces, wrinkles her nose, tries different versions of her smile, arches her eyebrows and checks out her profile. I chuckle to myself as I see her beginning to understand her features in comparison to me and to her friends. However, I take her interest in herself seriously because I want to instill a healthy sense of beauty.

We spend a great deal of time developing our daughters’ various talents be they academic, athletic or the arts.  But most  girls are not encouraged to enjoy their natural beauty.  Some parents fear their daughters may become vain or think it just isn’t that important.  I beg to differ. Encouraging her to have a healthy sense of beauty now will not only help to build confidence, but also it will help to give her a life-long healthy perspective on her beauty.

When you start to notice her enhanced relationship with mirrors, I recommend you take a few photos and casually look at them together.  Ask her what she likes about herself in the photo.  You may have to cajole her a bit, but it is worth the effort.  Listen carefully to how she describes herself or what she tells you about herself in the photos. Then offer your opinion highlighting her assets and addressing any negatives she may have shared with you.

The photo conversation opened up a whole lot of topics about healthy beauty for my daughter and me.  We talked about the shape of her face (heart) and some of her features (almond eyes).  Acknowledging her wide forehead, we had a fun time talking about great hairstyles she might want to try.

Start a healthy beauty conversation with your tween daughter.  Help her get comfortable with her features and her natural beauty.  Her approach to beauty standards, how she reacts to peer pressure about her looks, beauty products, and her sense of style all start with the young girl looking into the mirror.  Help her to love the person she sees looking back at her.

Deborah Hernan

Founder, Ottilie & Lulu

http://www.ottilieandlulu.com

March brings on another bi-annual activity in most households:  the spring parent-teacher conference. My husband and I enjoy these meetings and get a lot of good information about our daughter’s progress in school.  What is there not to enjoy about hearing someone talk about what your little girl is learning and how well she is doing? Before going further, a nod to all of the teachers who prepare extensive reports for these meetings.  From your child’s academic successes and challenges to her expanding horizons and social interactions, done correctly, these meetings give us insight to her early strengths and weaknesses.

The conference at our school is with our daughter’s homeroom teachers, but we are also invited to visit with the teachers who work with her in science, music, physical education, art, math, and, of course, reading.  Some parents meet only with the homeroom teachers who provide the overall report with input from all of the other subject teachers.  We try and meet with all of our daughter’s teachers-even her physical education teacher because it enhances parent-teacher communication, and like all of us, teachers respond better to those who are interested.

The conferences at this age are a pleasure.  I say this knowing that we all face the challenges ahead. Our school houses the lower and upper school population in one building; middle school, in a separate building.  As I look at the faces of the parents of the upper school girls and the girls themselves, I can see the strain and pressure of the competitive academic environment.  Perhaps that is one of the best reasons to participate in parent-teacher conferences early and regularly because the consistency of parental support is so reassuring to the process.

So the best advice for parent-teacher conferences?  Go early, go regularly, and go eagerly.  Your attitude about these meetings-starting at the ages of our classy girls-sets a precedent for these meetings for years to come.  Relish in the good news and work through any issues before they become problems.  It creates a win-win-win for you, your classy girl, and her teachers.

Healthful Mom, Deborah Hernan

Creator & Founder of Ottilie & Lulu skin and hair care for tween girls

Recently, I’ve been wondering if I’m the only mother who despises the Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series of children’s books?  The first book achieved NY Times Best Seller status.   Several other books swiftly followed and now the movie is scheduled to be released this month.  The book has proven to be amazingly popular among kids.  Like most things, the older kids start reading it and then it trickles down to the younger kids who want to emulate the older kids.

In case you aren’t familiar with the story, it’s about Greg, a young boy in middle school who writes about his life in a “journal” because real men don’t write diaries.  The book is illustrated like a comic book and written in the first person.  My oldest daughter devoured all the books and thought that they were “SO FUNNY.”  In fact, she gave me the first book to read so that I could see how funny it was.  Imagine my surprise when I started reading the book and discovered that the main character is quite mean-spirited, narcissistic and not someone that I would want my daughter to emulate.

As a parent, I want to encourage my children to read and foster a love of books.  I probably wouldn’t have made a big fuss about this book series except that my daughter started imitating some of the antics that the main character tries to pull off.  That’s when I knew that I needed to talk about this book and discuss the behavior of the main character.

I don’t believe in censorship but I do believe in making sure that the reader has the maturity to handle the subject matter.  My 8 year old daughter (who is in the 3rd grade) clearly didn’t.  I guess we’ll be skipping the movie…

Even if you can’t catch a leprechaun this March 17, you can still make one (along with many other crafts and treats) to celebrate the greenest holiday of all – St. Patrick’s Day! Celebrate at home – or in the classroom – with Disney FamilyFun magazine’s mischievous ideas – and you’re sure to ‘strike gold!’

CRAFTS AND GAMES

Wee Leprechaun: Make-your-own leprechaun!

St. Patrick’s Day Scavenger Hunt: Follow fun all the way to a faux pot of gold.

To Catch A Leprechaun: Three clever traps for taking a stand against St. Patrick’s Day mischief: Leprechaun Hat Pit Trap, Rainbow Cage Drop, Tricky Trapdoor

Green Stamp: Spread the luck o’ the Irish this St. Patrick’s Day with a homemade shamrock stamp. Use it to decorate paper place mats, coasters, tablecloths, or anything else your little leprechauns wish to dress in green.

RECIPES

Clover Cookies: For St. Patrick’s Day (March 17), or any day you feel like you need a little extra luck, bake up a batch of these cheerful green shamrock cookies. Give some to your friends and classmates, so they will be lucky, too.

Taste a Rainbow Cupcakes: Here’s what little leprechauns look forward to on St. Patrick’s Day: a magical snack that can add color to the grayest March afternoon. Pot of gold not included.

Luck of the Irish Cupcakes: It’s not far to the gold at the end of this rainbow-topped Emerald Isle cupcake, just the thing for your lads and lasses on St. Patrick’s Day.

Shamrock Cupcakes: It doesn’t take the luck of the Irish to make these St. Patty’s Day treats look so sweet — just a clever baking technique.

St. Patrick’s Pot of Gold: Surprise your favorite little people on March 17th with these wee emerald pots filled with sweet, edible gold.

This St. Patrick’s Day get into the fun with your Classy Girl and make something special for the day!  My kids are always talking about wanting to catch a leprechaun so I think we will be making one of those nifty traps, or maybe all three!

Visit Disney Family Fun for more St. Patrick’s Day fun and recipes!

Yesterday my classy girl and I were walking through Central Park on our way home from her piano lesson. We have had so much snow, she is actually tired of sledding. Thank goodness because I’m exhausted! But as we walked she focused in on the many varieties of snow people decorating the park’s paths. In addition to the classic snowmen in various, colorful attire, there were snow bears (above) pigs, fairies, snow cats and dogs, and then we saw it.  “Mom, look, that snowman has boobies!”

Ah, yes she did.  Now as an urban parent, I- like most of you- am usually prepared for the many “interesting” sights and sounds we encounter on our journeys. But I admit this snow woman took me back. Perhaps it was because of her amazon-like features. She was at least 7 feet tall–and she was kneeling. She was also naked and, as my daughter said, she had a rather large butt. But her head, face, and hair were absolutely amazing. Someone had put an incredible amount of work into this sculpture. The face was almost Botticelli-like and the hair that cascaded down her ice shoulders was made of hundreds of tiny snowballs so that she appeared to have ringlets.  She was actually quite beautiful–out of place in the park–but beautiful.

We didn’t stop to admire the details.  But we did talk about her.  Fortunately, my daughter has seen some of the naked Botero sculptures so the conversation was easy.  I continued our pace so as to allow for the art conversation without greater scrutiny of the snow sculpture.  I also didn’t want to get too close just in case there were other surprises around or under the ice maiden.   Sorry, I did not take a photo to share.

As the day wore on, the weather warmed which inevitably brought more people out of their apartments. I am sure this particular snow sculpture caused a bit of consternation for a number of families in the park.  Some chuckles, too.  So if you happen to be near Central Park near the basketball courts, close to the Met, or anywhere there are ice sculptures, be ready.  Out there among the snow bears, snow pigs, and snowmen with corn cob pipes, there could be a Fellini-like sculpture that reminds us as parents to always be ready.

Healthful Mom, Deborah Hernan

Founder, Ottilie & Lulu