My tween daughter has discovered her “visage.”  While we are on spring break, I have noticed there isn’t a mirror my daughter doesn’t like. Her interest is not in a vain way, but in a curious way. I watch as unobtrusively as possible as she makes faces, wrinkles her nose, tries different versions of her smile, arches her eyebrows and checks out her profile. I chuckle to myself as I see her beginning to understand her features in comparison to me and to her friends. However, I take her interest in herself seriously because I want to instill a healthy sense of beauty.

We spend a great deal of time developing our daughters’ various talents be they academic, athletic or the arts.  But most  girls are not encouraged to enjoy their natural beauty.  Some parents fear their daughters may become vain or think it just isn’t that important.  I beg to differ. Encouraging her to have a healthy sense of beauty now will not only help to build confidence, but also it will help to give her a life-long healthy perspective on her beauty.

When you start to notice her enhanced relationship with mirrors, I recommend you take a few photos and casually look at them together.  Ask her what she likes about herself in the photo.  You may have to cajole her a bit, but it is worth the effort.  Listen carefully to how she describes herself or what she tells you about herself in the photos. Then offer your opinion highlighting her assets and addressing any negatives she may have shared with you.

The photo conversation opened up a whole lot of topics about healthy beauty for my daughter and me.  We talked about the shape of her face (heart) and some of her features (almond eyes).  Acknowledging her wide forehead, we had a fun time talking about great hairstyles she might want to try.

Start a healthy beauty conversation with your tween daughter.  Help her get comfortable with her features and her natural beauty.  Her approach to beauty standards, how she reacts to peer pressure about her looks, beauty products, and her sense of style all start with the young girl looking into the mirror.  Help her to love the person she sees looking back at her.

Deborah Hernan

Founder, Ottilie & Lulu

http://www.ottilieandlulu.com